straight males in yogurt shop tolerance level: 0

The worst is when I give a little boy a pink spoon (or he even ASKS for a pink spoon!) and his mom and dad glare at me as if I’m Satan himself trying to corrupt their kid with a fucking colored disposable spoon.


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  • waitress: i'm sorry we're all out of mozzarella sticks
  • waitress: sir please stop cyring
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i am the almost empty shampoo bottle in the shower of life

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Even the most sexed up man in all of history knew that taking advantage of women was never ok.

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when i was new to the UK, somebody asked me if i had rubber and i gave them a condom because i didnt know they meant eraser

would condoms makes good erasers?

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I live in a conservative/unfunny town, so this type of thing is almost unheard of


I live in a conservative/unfunny town, so this type of thing is almost unheard of

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Anonymous said: If you don't see it, it doesn't matter :') You're right! I don't know that, that's why it's the fear of uncertainty! I hate putting myself out because the worst case scenario is always the most likely! Well I don't know for certain, the same way I didn't know you were a Gemini for certain. But the feeling I get, and the fact you've been sound on here has implied I'm correct in my assumptions :)

I’m confused now though :’) yeah but end of the day, if you messaged me off anon and I didn’t reply, it’s not like anybody else has seen it and it’s not like I’d tell anybody else who you are!

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*plays with tie nervously at job interview* 

"Sorry, I’ve never had a job interview and I’m nervous haha."

"That’s okay just please stop playing with my tie and sit on your side of the desk"

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